Disclaimer: This blog is independently written and published by me. The opinions expressed herein are my own personal opinions and do not represent my employer’s view in any way.

Take a moment to think about how you might introduce yourself to someone new.

Would you say, “I’m a mom,” “a cyclist,” “a New Yorker,” “a minimalist,” or even “a coffee person”?

The way we construct our identity—our self-concept—is shaped not just by relationships or affiliations, but by the things we surround ourselves with. Our clothes, cars, tech, bags, mugs, even pens—they all carry meaning, and they all reflect (and sometimes shape) who we think we are.

Identity Is Fluid—And Products Help Shape It

We often believe our identities are fixed. But in reality, they’re constantly evolving. Products play an important role in that evolution. They don’t just reflect who we are; they subtly influence how we see ourselves and how others perceive us.

We choose products that carry the personality traits we want to express—whether that’s elegance, adventure, intelligence, or status. And the more closely those traits match our self-image, the more connected we feel to the product and the brand.

But here’s the catch: if the social intent behind a product choice feels too obvious, it becomes uncomfortable. That’s why someone who buys a BMW for status might say it’s about “performance” or “reliability.” As product designers and marketers, we should embrace status—but cloak it in credibility.

We Judge Ourselves Against Products, Too

We don’t just compare ourselves to other people—we also compare ourselves to objects.

Research has found that even the shape of a product can influence self-evaluation. For example:

Women who identified as curvy rated curved products more highly.
A short-looking coffee mug made people feel shorter and less physically attractive.
Using a pen with an MIT logo made students feel smarter.
Carrying a Victoria’s Secret bag made women feel sexier.

These aren’t just emotional blips. They influence how people behave, what they value, and even the choices they make afterward.

Why We Choose Brands That Feel Like “Us”

We’re naturally motivated to behave in ways that match our self-image. This desire for consistency is why we gravitate toward brands that feel like us—and why we avoid those that don’t.

This concept, called self-congruity, has been proven to influence:

Pre-purchase behavior (brand preference, willingness to buy)
Post-purchase behavior (satisfaction, loyalty, word-of-mouth)

Before buying, we often picture the typical person who uses a brand or shops at a store. If that mental image aligns with how we see ourselves—or how we want to be seen—we’re far more likely to make a purchase.

Products Can Actually Change How We Feel About Ourselves

One of the most powerful (and underrated) effects of products is their ability to shift our self-perception.

As one study put it:

“When people acquire an object, not only do they gain control over it—they also surrender control to it, allowing its traits to influence how they see themselves.” – Weiss & Venkataramani, 2016

Psychologists call this self-affirmation—and it’s been shown to impact everything from test scores to how we respond to health advice. One study found that when overweight participants were given affirming messages before receiving a health warning (“Sitting too much increases disease risk”), they became more active in the following month. Affirmation made the message feel less like a threat, and more like a nudge.

When designed thoughtfully, products can affirm a user’s values, reinforce their sense of self, and motivate them toward positive change.

Products Do Jobs—Functional, Emotional, and Social

A helpful framework comes from “Jobs to Be Done” theory, which says people “hire” products to accomplish specific jobs:

Functional jobs – Getting a task done
Personal-emotional jobs – Feeling a certain way (e.g. confident, smart)
Social-emotional jobs – Being perceived a certain way by others

Example:

A woman might buy a car to transport her kids (functional), to feel successful (personal), and to be seen as stylish (social). All three needs are valid—and good product design should consider them all.

Design Takeaway: Affirm the Self, Signal Identity

As product leaders, designers, and marketers, we have an amazing opportunity: to build products that don’t just solve a problem—but help people feel like more fully realized versions of themselves.

So ask yourself:

What emotional or social “job” is my product being hired to do?
How does it make someone feel about who they are—or who they’re becoming?
Does it affirm their values and signal the traits they want to project?

Products have the power to reflect and reinforce self-concept. When we recognize this, we design not just for utility, but for identity, emotion, and transformation.

References:

Products as Self-Evaluation Standards: When Owned and Unowned Products Have Opposite Effects on Self-Judgment
Liad Weiss, Gita Venkataramani Johar. J Consum Res (2016) 42 (6): 915–930. 2016. Products as Self-Evaluation Standards: When Owned and Unowned Products Have Opposite Effects on Self-Judgment.
The Psychology of Change: Self-Affirmation and Social Psychological Intervention Geoffrey L. Cohen and David K. Sherman
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/11/why-self-affirmation-works.html
Multiple reference effects in service evaluations: Roles of alternative attractiveness and self-image congruity Chi Kin (Bennett) Yim∗, Kimmy Wa Chan 1, Kineta Hung 2007.
Ghoshal, Product Curvature or Angularity Preferences: A Theory of Self-Concept. 2015
Self-Affirmation through the Choice of Highly Aesthetic Products Author(s): Claudia Townsend and Sanjay Sood Source: Journal of Consumer Research, Vol. 39, No2 (August 2012), pp. 415–428 Published by: Oxford University Press Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/663775
The Compensatory Consumer Behavior Model: How Self-Discrepancies Drive Consumer Behavior. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 2016
Actual and ideal self-congruity affecting consumers’ emotional and behavioral responses toward an online store Wanmo Koo a , Erin Cho, Youn-Kyung Kim c,1 2014
Routledge International Handbook of Consumer Psychology 2016).
http://gandrllc.com/reprints/usingselfconcepttoassessadvertisingeffectiveness.pdf
Lucia Malär, Harley Krohmer, Wayne D. Hoyer, & Bettina Nyffenegger. Emotional Brand Attachment and Brand Personality: The Relative. Importance of the Actual and the Ideal Self 2011
The Sum of Small Things
Status Is a Four-Letter Word. Self Versus Other Differences and Concealment of Status-Striving. 2014